On August 26th, I embarked on a life-changing journey.
A journey...
...on a Disney cruise.
I was actually really hesitant about being stuck on a boat with the people who had been the source of my trauma and anxiety for nearly twenty years. The only thing that convinced me in going was the fact that it was a Disney cruise. As much as I don't really trust Disney as a corporation anymore, I didn't want that to get in the way of the fact that I was going on an ACTUAL Disney cruise.
However, with the excitement also came the paranoia as it raced through my head, conjuring the worst possibilities possible: fighting/arguing with my sister and parents, my parents judging me for my lifestyles and my current relationship with my two spouses, my sister dismissing/invalidating my feelings and experiences, my parents spoiling and doting on my sister because she's a doctor now, etc.
Thankfully...none of that happened, and I had an absolutely wonderful time there.
I ate delicious food, watched several fantastic live shows, got to shake hands with Captain America, and overall, had a really relaxing time either doing nothing or touring around the areas near the cruise's few stops. I also got to see Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness five times, but I'll gush about him in another blog post lol.
One thing I didn't expect on the cruise was having actual heart-to-heart conversations with my parents. Sure, we've talked on the phone and sent each other texts, but I think actually talking with my parents right there really helped provide the relief that I never thought I would get while on the cruise.
Sure, my parents aren't the best and I was hurt a lot of times, but they did their best and they're still doing their best, and that's something I'm truly grateful for. My parents showed that they're still growing and learning, even at their old age. They've been supportive of my polyamorous relationship with my spouses. On the other hand, my sister remained relatively the same: a caring but stern woman with no time for affection, but she surprised me in some ways, such as comforting and hugging me after I realized I lost my Switch and promptly broke down (I found it, though!). We even got to gossip a little bit. I don't have anything to gossip about in my life, but I got plenty of dirt about her classmates in her residency. It was great.
I'm honestly pretty lucky to have the parents like my mom and dad, and to have a sibling like my sister. I know that it's pretty common to complain about our family online. Heck, the trauma I had to experience growing up might never go away. However, it hurts a lot less now after meeting up with my family and seeing just how much they changed for the better. I actually got a proper apology from them, too. It's funny that a Disney cruise would be the place where I finally got some closure for all of the pain I had to endure in the past.
Now don't get me wrong, this isn't me saying, "YOUR PARENTS LOVE YOU, GIVE THEM A CHANCE!!" I am fully aware that there are truly toxic and abusive parents out there. I just hope some of you don't mind this old beet sharing her own experiences. It kinda sucks that it took me this long to finally get some closure, but I'm happy to have gotten it now than later, or not at all.
I don't know how much longer my parents will have until they pass, but I honestly wouldn't mind gritting my teeth and pushing through my hatred of traveling just to hang out with them a little bit longer.